i knew that the media was unreliable but i never imagined it would be this bad
Adventures, and someone I can trust.
I want to fucking play pretend all day and not give a fuck about it.
I want to play music so fucking loud and dance like I’m the motherfucking best dancer on planet earth
I want to write a library
I want you to hold my hand and run through fire with me
And laugh when we make it across.
I want to cover my bedroom walls with paint and pen and pain
I want to run through the woods barefoot
I want to break all the fancy wineglasses in the top cupboard that no one ever fucking uses anyway
I want to scream
I want to hit the walls of my house until all the pictures and paintings fall off them
And then I want to paint some more.
I want to..
I want to break down
On a giant stage
In front of thousands of people-
Completely fall apart, shattered into a billion tiny pieces.
I want them to watch me painfully force whats left of the pieces back together all in the wrong places and stand back up and smile at them all
And then I want them to watch me limp across the stage just to stand in front of them again.
I want them to watch me stand there- after painfully putting all the pieces back together, and let all of the pieces fall back to the ground. I am exhausted. The pieces drop as I stand there with a tired, knowing smile on my face.
And then I’d say “thank you.”
And the curtains would close.
And all of the pain would be gone.
That’s what I want.
This says a lot about people